Ward vs. Testimony

Exploring ideas and struggles in the place between community and belief

photo taken by author

At the beginning of January our ward was invited to attend a special tri-ward meeting in place of our normal Sunday meetings, and were told that “stake business would be conducted.”

This meeting was not entirely unexpected. Not only was our bishopric due to be released this year, but membership throughout the stake has been declining for the past decade or so and conversations about wards being combined or new boundaries being drawn were common. So when the meeting began and the stake president began to explain the new boundaries, we were not surprised. What was a surprise was exactly how the boundaries were changed.

One of the three wards in attendance was entirely dissolved and its membership divided between the other two. Then, the ward that I’m in had parts of two additional wards—wards from an entirely different stake—added to us. Despite some very initial concerns about this new boundary, my existing ward was still mostly intact. The blow came when the boundaries were further clarified to show that one street in particular from my existing ward had been strategically cut out of our boundaries and added to the other ward in attendance instead.

This street sits directly across from my ward building and is home to multiple very active families, some who have been in the ward for literal decades. These families are pillars of the ward, truly salt of the earth kind of people. Not only that, but many of these families have become some of my dearest friends and supporters since we have lived in this area. Even before I started attending church again they were there, inviting us to neighborhood events, making sure we were aware of any activities my kids might be interested in, helping with our home renovations and just being neighborly in every sense of the word.

When I did start attending church, they were also some of the people who most made me feel like it was possible to show up as my honest self. They encouraged my questions and differing views, supported my kids who were unfamiliar with primary and youth programs, and unfailingly met my family right where we were at, over and over again.

The stake leaders all bore their testimonies about the new boundaries. And then, as it goes, only minutes after learning about the changes, we were asked to sustain them.

I did not raise my hand.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that I cried for days after this meeting. The other issues I saw with the newly created ward boundaries were hard enough, but the “loss” of my ward friends brought me to tears every time I thought about it. I know that I will still see them in the neighborhood, they were, after all, my neighbors first, but they were also such a big part of my return to church, it is hard to imagine continuing to go without them being there on Sundays.

I have always said that I have an exceptionally good ward. The people on that street, and many other ward members, have spent years cultivating a culture of love and acceptance that is felt the moment you step into the building. And I’m not the only one who feels this way; I’ve heard countless others express the same sentiments. I can’t deny that these people were a huge part of the reason I decided to return to the church, and I have often asked myself if I would have chosen to return if we still lived in the ward that we lived in previously, the ward from which I chose to leave. I can’t say for sure that I would have.

So what does all of this say about me? Do I only attend church for the community? And if so, is that bad? Is it wrong to disagree with or mourn these types of changes? Does doing so show a lack of faith?

I think there is sort of an unspoken (or maybe spoken) idea in the church that we all attend simply because we have such a strong testimony of the church itself. This idea says that the ward culture doesn’t matter, that as long as you “really believe” you will attend no matter what.

But the reality is, church attendance is so much more complicated than belief alone. There are so many reasons that a person might choose to attend church that aren’t strictly related to one’s testimony, and I think all of those other reasons are just as important and valid.

With the boundaries expanded and the membership doubled, the culture of my ward will undoubtedly change. I don’t fully know yet in what ways, or in what ways those changes will affect how I feel about and engage with the church. There is a lot more on this topic to explore, and I will be sharing more in the coming weeks.

In the meantime, what are your thoughts about this? Does the culture of a ward matter? Should it matter? Is it more or less important than one’s testimony of gospel principles? What should we do when we don’t like something about our ward? In what ways do we faithfully and honestly navigate these types of changes?